Hagan Blount

PlaceInvaders TableTalk Newsletter // March 30, 2018

Hagan Blount
PlaceInvaders TableTalk Newsletter // March 30, 2018

Stormy Daniels’s Boring Interview Was Actually Brilliant
Team PlaceInvaders has varying levels of disdain for the media, but we can all agree that the 24-hour parade of talking head panels on cable news is a curious place to have arrived at. Surely this was not a decision made in the pursuit of effective and efficient communication of the day’s news (spoiler: it was the pursuit of max ad dollars). We also found last week’s Stormy night somewhat uneventful--other than our Cheeto-Crusted Cocktail Weenies and Im-Peach Cobbler--but this is a smart take on why that’s a good thing. Not everything needs to be a circus. Someone alert the Clown-In-Chief.

Why wouldn’t you march with us?
Based on the numbers over the past three years, if you were American, black, and unarmed, you were 150% as likely to die shot by an police officer than you are to be struck by lightning. If you were attending school, you were 26 times more likely to die being struck by lightning than in a school shooting (sources: Washington Post, Insurance Information Institute). But the media doesn’t care about black people, so the (disproportionately black) thousand people that die from police shootings each year and the 20 bullets in Stephon Clark don’t seem to encourage many white people to march anywhere.

Number of unarmed whites who have been killed by police since 2015: 0 

No Justice, No Peeps
Say you can make your product cheaper somewhere else, would you do it? Of course, you’d have to do all the math on that and take the variables into account. How much would you have to pay for the transition and how long would it take you to recoup that investment? Would quality suffer and how many customers would you lose because of it? What if an industry competitor who just bankrupted itself and took money from the pension you had been collectively funding forced you into a position to pay more out-of-pocket to make up for the shortfall while venture vultures suck up profits with no mandate to pay their $1B back? Are you anti-union because you don’t want to do this? This is a tough one.

Seriously though, fuck this guy
We all knew this was going to happen. A pro-business mindset has no place in a pro-environment position. Lackeys. Unfortunately, the only people that survive in this administration are lackeys. This guy has an ego problem.  

And here’s a mini-donk running around
We’ve heard mini-horses are jerks, but mini-donks are super nice - haven’t had the chance to find out, yet. Whenever we start our farm, it’s totally gonna have one of these guys. Chickens, sheep, goat, mini-donk. We don’t agree with the practice of naming something or someone before you meet it, but we were thinking Donkette for a girl or Donk-Et for a boy (only if it was a Turkish donkey, though).