Hagan Blount

PlaceInvaders TableTalk Newsletter // July 20, 2018

Hagan Blount
PlaceInvaders TableTalk Newsletter // July 20, 2018

The Last Blockbuster in America

Outliving the lower 48’s Blockbusters by nearly a decade, this small town Alaskan outpost is eulogized in a beautiful love letter brimming with nostalgia for entertainment rituals past. Remember the burden of committing to your movie curriculum for the whole weekend on Friday night? Remember how the number of copies on the wall was a direct parallel to how much you wanted to see that movie; and that even when there were two full sections, often it was sold out? Renting a movie based on a verbal, personal suggestion, rather than Googling for its Rotten Tomatoes or viewing trailers, feels as retro and risky as answering a pre-Caller ID landline with no idea who’s on the other end. The article isn’t brief. To keep yourself engaged, drink every time a reminder to rewind sticker is mentioned.  

Every Girl’s 1996 Girl Crush, Explained

She inspired us to bedazzle our plucked-into-oblivion, toothpick thin eyebrows, to DIY crop our men’s “wife beater” tanks, to covet those studded belts and wallet chains from the dELiA*s catalog. Gwen Stefani’s stompy, pinup-y, ska girl performances of the late 90’s were at odds with her stated goals of leading a very traditional life of a mom, wife, and homemaker. Having attended a couple of those “Fuck You, I’m a Girl” chanting events, it interesting to consider that was the peak, and perhaps only real moment of her feminism on display. Turns out that kind of message doesn’t well suit a Mastercard mouthpiece. But we’re happy if Gwen’s happy with the path she’s taken, and don’t be surprised to find us in Vegas, her residency  

Attention NYC Newbies: The Hunt Will Make You Look Like an Asshole.

Stealing from the very funny Twitter user that led us to this, the one piece of advice young people moving to New York City should 100% heed is to not appear in The Hunt column in the NYT real estate section. You do not want to be quoted in the paper of record calling 2018’s East Village “too gritty” for the rest of eternity.

Here's what autonomous cars will really look like

We believe that the biggest transformative technology in our lifetimes will be low-cost, automated transport. Or will it be fusion? Or cheap desalinization? Or quantum computing? Or a Dyson Sphere? Depends on how long we live (or will it be life-extension?). These guys have basically the idea we had for what the cars of the future would look like. Boxes that have people in them. Uber may buy 1,000,000 of these, but if you buy your own, you’ll likely just be able to stick it into some service when you’re not using it and make $$$. See ya later, medallion,

No more wars plz k thx

And while we’re on the subject of awesome new technology that is going to really affect our society, you need to check this out. What could kill us all, instead? Some kind of super virus someone makes with home CRISPR tech, Ice-nine, scary robot dogs, the entire population voting to be uploaded to the Matrix (might not technically kill us, but would neutralize the species). But seriously, let’s stop funding all these defense initiatives, mmkay? Vote to end everything to do with military proliferation. “Support our troops” is just a rallying cry paid for by Northrop-Grumman, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, General Dynamics, and everyone in congress that takes money from any one of these factions. We just read somewhere that Trump is taking this country’s dignity away… You know, maybe in the last 70 years of bombing people for resources, our country’s dignity was stripped from us, but hey, we just throw dinner parties.