Hagan Blount

PlaceInvaders TableTalk Newsletter // January 26, 2018

Hagan Blount
PlaceInvaders TableTalk Newsletter // January 26, 2018

Sit on this, dummy
In 6th grade, cofounder Hagan made a toilet in art class. It was a black toilet with yellow water and two brown poops inside it. When it was finished, the art teacher wouldn’t fire it unless the water was blue and the poops were gone. If you’re subscribed to this list, Mr. Petrie, we forgive you. Mom still has the unfired toilet. Honestly, we probably wouldn’t be writing about you if you had fired the poop; you’ve added to our collective distrust and suspicion of authoritative action. If you follow the link, you’ll see that someone made damn good money on their toilet artwork and made the national news by sticking it to the man.

We are all just sheep now, I guess
How much money, time, and energy is wasted by our culture of consumption? Thinking about home renovations recently; just how many resources go into modifying kitchens and bathrooms that were just modified 10-15 years ago? Why do we continue to let ourselves be manipulated by ads serving us up desire for the newest/best/shiniest? In reading this article, you may reflect on that most recent Tastemade ad that tried to sell you goddamned cast iron pan conditioner (we know you saw that dumb ad) and think about how attachment to possessions and that just-a-bit-better mindset has wilted your zest for life. If you bought that crap, we’ll give you a $17 discount on your next Invasion, because you could seriously use a win today - honestly, you’re spiraling out of control. Just use the code imabigsucker and be ready for good-natured ridicule at the next dinner.  

Sriracha and the surprisingly heartwarming story behind it
This guy is the J.K. Rowling of hot sauce. He’s the Henry Ford of hot sauce. He’s the Tommy Callahan of hot sauce. He didn’t trademark the word Sriracha, so you see it everywhere (and he thinks that after you’ve tried the rest, you’ll try the best), he doesn’t charge licensing fees to use it in promotional campaigns, he hasn’t raised prices on the stuff in 30+ years, and he’ll answer your email. This guy is the David Koresh of hot sauce.  

Tacro, Croissaco, Croissantaco
Everyone’s getting on that pastry mash-up train. I think we reported on the everything bagel croissant, the waffle donuts, there’s some kind of croissant tortilla out there… One of the best breakfast confections we’ve tried was the Waza waffle at Norma’s at Le Parker Meridien; it was a crème brûlée covered waffle with a lot of fruit and sufficient whipped cream - they still serve it. One of the most luxurious breakfasts we’ve ever experienced, for sure, but we can’t guarantee that this menu item holds the same promise.

For The Love of God, Someone Fund Cindy

Cindy Gallop, that is; friend of PlaceInvaders, all around genius and “fan-bloody-tastic” human (in Cindy-speak). Earlier this month a date between Aziz Ansari and ”Grace” almost broke the Internet. Everyone had opinions, outrage, accusations, doubts, and even those folks who said “haven’t we talked about this enough” on Facebook discussions were backchanneling more Aziz links to our Gmail. We think the reason for this topic’s explosion is that we just don’t know how to talk about sex. #MeToo has been amazing in helping us talk about the absolute worst kind of “sex” (not actually sex, but assertions of power and assault), but whose job is is to take folks aside and teach them how to talk about good sex? Consent, female pleasure, just generally not being a jerk in bed, etc. Many young men learn everything they know from watching porn, which is of course a no good at conveying any of the above. Cindy has been working to address this, and to start a social sex revolution, with incredible dedication and devotion for years, and has FINALLY raised $2M. Cindy, we salute you! And can’t wait to watch you continue to change the world.